Archive for the 'How to Change Your Life' Category

Miracle in Costa Rica

Wednesday, November 19th, 2008

Nothing directly to do with midlife - but this story was so great, I wanted

to share it..   Life is so much more than we know.

Every Friday, we buy a bag of groceries for a number of families in
our Work-For-Food Program. On one particular Friday, we set a clear
intention to provide the groceries - even though we didn’t have the
cash to do it. To make things even more exciting, we had been
without a telephone dial tone for several days, and were waiting for
the phone company to fix it.

So it was fun later that morning when the phone rang.

The call came from a couple we had never met, but who were traveling
from San Jose, the capitol city, to Puerto Viejo. “I saw on your
website that you provide bags of food”, the husband said. “If you
give us a shopping list, we’ll buy them here and bring them down
today.” Nanci gave him the shopping list, and hung up the phone.

We picked up the phone a few minutes after the call. No dial tone.

The groceries arrived, and the families got their much-needed food.

The phone company fixed the line on Monday.

Loaves, fishes, and SOM kind of utility.

Barry Stevens
Co-Director Study Group Costa Rica
Co-Founder, El Puente - The Bridge
The Bridge provides educational assistance, food assistance, and
microloans mainly to indigenous people in the southeastern part of
Costa Rica. Our goal is to help people help themselves to self-
sufficiency.
See us at http://www.elpuente-thebridge.org

7 Midlife Career Change Tips - how Van Gogh did it

Wednesday, November 12th, 2008

By Lyndsay Swinton

It’s never too late for a midlife career change. Before he taught himself how to paint, *Vincent Van Gogh was an art dealer, schoolmaster, student priest, and missionary. Indeed, he was well into his thirties before his artistic talents were recognised. Not too shoddy for a midlife career change!

Whether you want to return to work, get your dream job, achieve a better work-life balance or simply need the challenge, this 7 step career decision making advice will help you think through your midlife career change.
Let’s get started…
1. What skills and experience do you possess?
List exactly your skills and experience, focussing on what you can do, not on what you can’t. These are commonly called “transferable skills” because no matter what line of work you’re in, they are useful.

You’ve probably got unique talents or knowledge – go ahead and list that too. These may end up differentiating you from the rest, and land your dream job. (If you have problems identifying these, ask a friend, or consider some email coaching.)
Okay, so there may be some gaps between you and your dream job, but if you could do it all already, why bother with a midlife career change? It’s highly likely you can close those gaps without going back to school full-time.

Sound unlikely? Well, have you heard of secondments, job shadowing, or learning on the job? And what about taking a sabbatical to work in the voluntary sector to test things out? All of these enable a mid life career change without going back to school.

(If you would like more help closing skills gaps, take a look at my free personal development plan guide.)
2. What field would you like to work in?
So now we know what you can do. Maybe you want to stay doing what you do, but in a different field? My uncle moved from a high flying banking job to become a financial director of a large theatre, fulfilling his love of the arts whilst still getting his “fix” of numbers.
Science, medicine, government, working from home, military…. There are so many choices it can be overwhelming. Luckily the next step will help narrow it down.
3. What lifestyle do you want?
Your lifestyle aspirations change as your circumstances change. What suited you as a footloose fancy-free twenty something may no longer hold water as a thirty something with 2.4 children, dog and pet rabbit. What is your ideal day? Who do you see? What kind of people are around you?
4. Where do you want to live?
Choosing to live in a remote community may be tough going if you have super niche skills. Maybe you can market those skills online – just check out if you can get broadband before you move :>)
Travelling is another consideration, be it the daily commute or international globe-trotting. Does this figure in your dream job? If so, you need to consider the dull reality of trains, planes and automobiles.
5. What salary fits your lifestyle?
Let’s talk money. How much money do you need to live your life - now and when you retire? It’s a sorry truth that most of us have to work to get bread on the table.

Don’t let dollar signs cloud your vision of your dream job though. My sister-in-law took a massive pay cut to move from corporate life to the public sector but one year later is earning more than her corporate salary.
6. What career progression exists?
Are you painting yourself into a corner career-wise? Does your dream job have a finite life span or are there opportunities to grow and develop? Lack of career progression may be why you are looking to change careers now! I certainly moved from one job as the glass ceiling was firmly fixed above my head.
7. How will you progress this?
Right, here’s the really difficult bit. I never said it was going to be easy ;>) In fact, I’ll spill the beans now. Making a midlife career change can be slow, hard work, and requires you to do some tough thinking. But consider the alternative – wasting your life in a dead end job, unfulfilled and embarrassed about how your obituary will read. (Besides, if you make the right decision, your enthusiasm will carry you through the trickier bits).
So come on, how will you progress this?
I’m not going to let you off the hook here! How are you going to land that dream job? Who do you need to speak to? What research needs done? Who can help? Just like fishing, you can only catch a fish when you have a line in the water. Your dream job is out there waiting to be caught.
Giving midlife career change advice is easy - it’s up to you to make it happen. But whenever you find the going getting tough, remember Van Gogh! Pull together an action plan and do it, no excuses.

By Lyndsay Swinton
Owner, Management for the Rest of Us
www.mftrou.com

‘America the Beautiful’ Probes Fashion’s Ugly Side

Tuesday, October 28th, 2008
(WOMENSENEWS)–A trio of movies this year explore how beauty
in the United States has come to be equated with ultra-thin,
highly toned bodies that can’t be achieved by most people.In the
documentary “America the Beautiful,” which has been s
howing in independent movie houses in select cities since May,
filmmaker Darryl Roberts confronts fashion insiders about their
reliance on wire hanger-thin models.”It’s just that the fabric is so expensive, and the detailing,”
Greg Moore, a producer of shows for New York Fashion Week, says in
the film. “If you make a dress that’s a size 4, and no one buys it,
you’ve only bought three yards. If she’s a size 10, you’ve bought
10 yards. If you’ve spent $10,000 on fabric, and no one buys it,
you’ve lost $10,000 in fabric.”

Roberts’ film is one of three independently made movies this
year to focus on America’s toxic obsession with weight and its
impact on the self-esteem of women and girls, including models.
Together, they raise a chorus of demand for change aimed at the
multi-billion-dollar fashion and diet industries and TV networks
garnering high ratings from shows such as NBC’s “The Biggest Loser.”

“Everywhere you look, we’re sold the promise that if you’re
beautiful, your life will be better,” says Roberts, 46, a former on-air
TV personality, for whom this is a second foray into movie making.
His first film was “How U Like Me Now,” which dealt with relationships
in the 1990s. “Is it possible the beauty promise is a lie? Just plain and simple propaganda?”

No Comment From Fashion Council

A spokesperson for the New York-based Council of Fashion
Designers of America said leaders of the organization declined
to answer that question or any other raised by the films.

For filmmaker Diane Israel, the pursuit of the beauty ideal
proved almost fatal. Her film, “Beauty Mark,” which debuted
last February at the University of Colorado, Boulder, describes
her descent into anorexia. An elite triathlete, her destructive eating
habits and obsessive exercising led to physical collapse and the end
of her athletic career at age 28. Poor nutrition left her with bones like
a 70-year-old woman.

The third movie, first shown in July in Manhattan, is “disFigured,”
the only one to treat the topic fictionally. Filmmaker Glen Gers
tells the story through two main characters, a recovering anorexic
and an overweight woman who first see each other at a “fat acceptance”
group. Darcy, the anorexic, inappropriately tries to find support there.
The group rejects her, but later she becomes a close friend to
the overweight Lydia.

The central character in Roberts’ documentary is Gerren Taylor,
who became a celebrated runway model at age 12 while she was still
playing with Barbie dolls. But soon after her rise to success, she was
rejected by agencies and designers despite being a size 4 with not
an ounce of extra fat; the spread of her hip bones (she was almost
6 feet tall at 12) made her obese in their eyes.

Weight a Recent Obsession

While women have long been pressured to keep their
bodies fashionable it was not until the end of the 1970s and
early 1980s that low weight became the overriding goal and
the subject of an explosion of books and articles about dieting,
according to “The Beauty Myth,” the 1991 book by feminist
critic Naomi Wolf. She links the obsession to a new commercial
imperative: Women no longer consumed by domestic duties
had to be motivated to keep lusting for products and services,
this time not to banish “ring around the collar,” as a Tide
ad once promised, but to be unrealistically thin.

Since the 1970s, the escalating pressures have been
reflected in the shrinking size of fashion models. “Even in
the ’90s the models were not skeletal, but today the fashion
industry says clothes look better on hangers and want women
(models) like hangars,” said Lynn Grefe, president of the
Seattle-based National Eating Disorders Association. “Even
if people don’t develop eating disorders, the self-esteem issues
are rampant,” said Grefe, who appears in Roberts’ film.

According to a 1996 study, an estimated 80 percent of
young adult U.S. women were dissatisfied with their appearance,
and particularly their weight. But an estimated 10 million women
and girls, and a million boys and men, have slipped beyond
dissatisfaction into life-threatening battles with anorexia and
bulimia, according to studies. “I meet the parents and see
the tears from people who’ve lost a loved one from something
that could be stopped,” says Grefe.

Efforts to prevent eating disorders have been underway
for years but until recently, none has proven to significantly
reduce the risk, according to Eric Stice, a leading researcher
in the field who works at the Oregon Research Institute in Eugene.

Peer Group Intervention

The best results to date have come from an intervention
called the Body Project, funded by the National Institute of
Mental Health, in which Stice has played a principle role.
Earlier prevention efforts have involved telling young women
about unrealistic body images and the dangers of eating
disorders but the messages have not stuck.

In contrast, the Body Project’s approach has been to
show small groups of high school and college students pictures
from magazines and then to ask them to talk about how these
images affect adolescent girls. “We’ve proven that if the
information comes out of their mouths, they listen to themselves,”
says Stice. This approach has been replicated successfully
a dozen times, including among sorority sisters at Trinity University.

This small-group technique, however, can hardly counter
the relentless mass media promotion of thinness.

Grefe thinks it’s time to try other routes, such as applying
workplace safety laws to fashion companies that require models
to be too thin for their health. She’d prefer a voluntary approach,
but said she was deeply disappointed by the failure of the
Council of Fashion Designers of America to suggest a minimum
body-mass index requirement after the deaths of two
models in 2006 from anorexia. The council’s spokesperson
said there would be no response to Grefe’s comment.

While acknowledging that he is “just one guy trying to
make a difference,” Roberts, meanwhile, has been using his
movie as the focus of a crusade against a proposed new
MTV show called “Model Makers.” MTV issued a call for
women who want to be models willing “to endure 12 weeks of
intensive physical fitness training to get them down to their ideal size.”

His efforts have apparently succeeded. MTV now says it
has no plans to air the show.

Frances Cerra Whittelsey is an author and f
reelance writer whose current work and blog, The Equalizer,
focus on women’s health, the environment and alternative
energy. She also teaches media ethics at Hofstra University in
Hempstead, N.Y.

Midlife Mentors — Are you over 65?

Friday, October 17th, 2008

I’ve been told that midlife extends from 40 - 65 and so I got this idea to write a book where I interview people over 65 for their advice on midlife. You know how when you get an idea, it mushrooms. Well, I just came back from lunch where I was being wooed by a national radio station to do a show — and — well, now we’re looking for sponsors and we’ll be off starting January.

I know what happens when I get an idea. It’s so exciting to watch this all unfold.

Would love to hear from those of you over 65 who want to be included in the interviews as well.
Dr. Toni
Midlife Mentor
http:/www.reinventmidlife.com

More Mis-messages about Midlife

Friday, October 10th, 2008

How many times have you heard yourself or your friends say, “I’m losing it”. EEKS… What are we doing to ourselves? Our words create our reality and if you are referring to forgetting things as you get older, I’d like to encourage you to reframe the experience. Isn’t it great that we forget a lot of our past - and even sometimes that we forget what we are saying at the moment? What do I mean?

Well, I don’t know about you, but, the memories I want to replay in my head are the ones where I was victorious, where I felt unconditional love and where I was at my peak. I remember these without hesitation. The other stuff — I may as well forget. Most of us dwell too much in our past anyway. We think it’s who we are when in fact, it’s no longer our truth. So, forgetting the past can be a very good thing.

What about forgetting mid-sentence what you were about to say? I find these moments sobering and they give me a chance to get centered and to ask myself, is this what I want to be thinking and saying right now? In other words, it keeps me more conscious - and that’s a good thing.

What about you? How do you feel about forgetting? Let’s hear from you here now.

Changing Midlife Messages for Women in the Age of Miracles

Monday, October 6th, 2008

This past weekend I attended the Hay House event, I CAN DO IT in Tampa, FL.  Marianne Williamson’s talk on Midlife, comparing our personal growth and change to what is happening in our world was awesome.  She gave us all hope and reminded us that we all went through criseses in our younger years and we are here to tell about it.  The doom and gloom in our ‘economy’ and threats of terror are the world’s indication that it is going through puberty!!  Interesting concept — and very stirring message.  If you get a chance to listen to it, I highly recommend it.  Check out Hay House offerings.  If you haven’t read Marianne’s latest book, The Age of Miracles, I also highly recommend that.  My new book is a bit different from Marianne’s — because our experiences have been different — but the basic message is similar — change is not only possible, it is inevitable. And as Barbara Marx Hubbard always says, “our crisis is our birth.”  It’s time to be re-born.

Midlife Women in the Age of Miracles: What are the mis-messages we’ve received?

Tuesday, September 30th, 2008

I’m reading Marianne Williamson’s latest book again and it’s helping to evoke some of my own ideas about midlife. Her life and mine have been very different and while we are on similar paths, we come to some different conclusions or at least different viewpoints.

It’s made me wonder about what YOUR viewpoints on midlife are or have been? I’m writing these days on Messages that Women, in particular, have received about midlife.

As an example, I like to watch makeover shows — -not the extreme ones — but, things like What Not to Wear and How Do I Look. While I usually like those shows and love the way they help women with their self-esteem, one thing I noticed is that everyone they work with is YOUNG…. say 20 -30 mostly. Many times, when one of them isn’t dressing well, they say to her — You look 60! EEKS — I find myself cringing at the thought that that’s how these fashion icons see 60 year olds. I’ve passed 60 and I pride myself on the way I dress. I want to be a mentor and a model for what is possible.

What about you? What message do you see out there about being a midlife woman (or older?) Please post your comments here…You’ll be helping yourself as well as those who are following us in a better world!

Create Your Own Mind Movie

Thursday, September 11th, 2008

To find the system that I used to create this mind movie:

go to: http://www.mindmovies.com/?&aff_id=17035&camp_id=553

The system is on a half-price sale right now - and is VERY WORTH IT…

Check it out… Your subconscious will thank you!
Dr. Toni

Dr. Toni’s Mind Movie

Thursday, September 11th, 2008

To view Dr. Toni’s personalized visualization movie:
goto YouTube and type in Dr. Toni’s Mind Movie or

click on or copy and paste the link below

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gulkRm1RIpU

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gulkRm1RIpU]

Dr. Toni’s Mind Movie

Saturday, September 6th, 2008

Click on the download button below to watch my daily visualization movie.
I’ll post a message on how YOU can create your own shortly.
Thanks for watching — While you are at it, please give it a rating and post a comment
on YouTube…
Dr. Toni