Archive for October, 2008

Age of Miracles - All about Midlife Women

Wednesday, October 29th, 2008

Have you read Marianne Williamson’s Age of Miracles, all about midlife? I just read it the second time. It’s my quest in life to change the way the world views midlife and I think this is a start. I don’t always agree with everything Marianne has to say, but there is a wonderful passage that I want to share (in case you haven’t already read it) since it speaks to my heart:

Famous passage from Marianne Williamson
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.It is our Light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?Actually, who are you NOT to be?You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the World. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won’t feel unsure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.As we let our own Light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

I invite you to ponder those ideas -and ask yourself where in your life you are FEARING FREEDOM and therefore blocking this quality that wants to come into your experience in a greater way?

Choose today to accept the fact that we were born free and are meant to be free. Free from the influence, of others. Free of the thoughts and opinions of others. Free of our past. We are not living in the past and can be totally free from that. We are free to be the full expression of who we are - individually. Because we are individual expressions of the One Mind, One Power, One Life, this means we have self choice, volition, a conscious mind, complete freedom and a “POWER TO BACK UP THAT FREEDOM.”

From Ernest Holmes
In the Science of Mind, by Ernest Holmes on p.108 we read: “We cannot imagine a mechanical or unspontaneous individuality; to be real and free, individuality must be created in the image of Perfection and let alone to make the great discovery for itself.” That is the discovery of our Freedom.

We are created with the possibility of limitless freedom and left alone to discover it ourselves. This discovery is called the awakening process.

Ultimate freedom is the freedom to be the divine self that you are, which includes living as a fully balanced and conscious being. When you remember that you are liberated, you are spontaneous in your expression of life and you express in ways that are in harmony with the greatest good for everyone concerned. How many of us live inhibited, for whatever reason.

I watched a video recently of people laughing, just people laughing and they looked so silly and most of us don’t want to look like that. We’re worried that people might think there is something strange about us. So, we hold ourselves back from laughing. How many things do you hold yourself back from? When you accept your Freedom, you are at ease wherever you find yourself. You have the freedom, to just be you. When you are free, you don’t have to worry about what the other person is thinking, feeling, being, doing. When you are really free, you can totally allow another person to be free, because you don’t depend on their being anything. And that’s even your partner or anyone else in your life. Your freedom doesn’t depend on what they do or say. Nothing binds you, you are a true individual, unique and expressive. Life takes on more joy when freedom is realized.

We have total freedom to choose at every moment and we constantly experience the results of our thoughts and the results of our actions. What Freedom that is! We think it’s a burden, but, in truth, its amazing freedom to know that no one else has the power over your life but you. If you don’t like what’s happening in your life, you have the power to change it. You don’t have to wait until mom or dad do something. You don’t have to wait until your partner gets better; you don’t have to wait until the children grow up; you don’t have to wait for anything. You’re the one that has the ultimate power and the ultimate freedom. When we do that, being free allows us to experience so much more of life.

The difference between freedom and bondage is simply the word, Choice. We have choice in every single moment, in every single experience. Let’s choose to be conscious of our choice. But, even that choice is yours.

Posted in Change, Women Midlife, Baby Boomers, Midlife Women in the Age of Miracles | 2 Comments »

‘America the Beautiful’ Probes Fashion’s Ugly Side

Tuesday, October 28th, 2008
(WOMENSENEWS)–A trio of movies this year explore how beauty
in the United States has come to be equated with ultra-thin,
highly toned bodies that can’t be achieved by most people.In the
documentary “America the Beautiful,” which has been s
howing in independent movie houses in select cities since May,
filmmaker Darryl Roberts confronts fashion insiders about their
reliance on wire hanger-thin models.”It’s just that the fabric is so expensive, and the detailing,”
Greg Moore, a producer of shows for New York Fashion Week, says in
the film. “If you make a dress that’s a size 4, and no one buys it,
you’ve only bought three yards. If she’s a size 10, you’ve bought
10 yards. If you’ve spent $10,000 on fabric, and no one buys it,
you’ve lost $10,000 in fabric.”

Roberts’ film is one of three independently made movies this
year to focus on America’s toxic obsession with weight and its
impact on the self-esteem of women and girls, including models.
Together, they raise a chorus of demand for change aimed at the
multi-billion-dollar fashion and diet industries and TV networks
garnering high ratings from shows such as NBC’s “The Biggest Loser.”

“Everywhere you look, we’re sold the promise that if you’re
beautiful, your life will be better,” says Roberts, 46, a former on-air
TV personality, for whom this is a second foray into movie making.
His first film was “How U Like Me Now,” which dealt with relationships
in the 1990s. “Is it possible the beauty promise is a lie? Just plain and simple propaganda?”

No Comment From Fashion Council

A spokesperson for the New York-based Council of Fashion
Designers of America said leaders of the organization declined
to answer that question or any other raised by the films.

For filmmaker Diane Israel, the pursuit of the beauty ideal
proved almost fatal. Her film, “Beauty Mark,” which debuted
last February at the University of Colorado, Boulder, describes
her descent into anorexia. An elite triathlete, her destructive eating
habits and obsessive exercising led to physical collapse and the end
of her athletic career at age 28. Poor nutrition left her with bones like
a 70-year-old woman.

The third movie, first shown in July in Manhattan, is “disFigured,”
the only one to treat the topic fictionally. Filmmaker Glen Gers
tells the story through two main characters, a recovering anorexic
and an overweight woman who first see each other at a “fat acceptance”
group. Darcy, the anorexic, inappropriately tries to find support there.
The group rejects her, but later she becomes a close friend to
the overweight Lydia.

The central character in Roberts’ documentary is Gerren Taylor,
who became a celebrated runway model at age 12 while she was still
playing with Barbie dolls. But soon after her rise to success, she was
rejected by agencies and designers despite being a size 4 with not
an ounce of extra fat; the spread of her hip bones (she was almost
6 feet tall at 12) made her obese in their eyes.

Weight a Recent Obsession

While women have long been pressured to keep their
bodies fashionable it was not until the end of the 1970s and
early 1980s that low weight became the overriding goal and
the subject of an explosion of books and articles about dieting,
according to “The Beauty Myth,” the 1991 book by feminist
critic Naomi Wolf. She links the obsession to a new commercial
imperative: Women no longer consumed by domestic duties
had to be motivated to keep lusting for products and services,
this time not to banish “ring around the collar,” as a Tide
ad once promised, but to be unrealistically thin.

Since the 1970s, the escalating pressures have been
reflected in the shrinking size of fashion models. “Even in
the ’90s the models were not skeletal, but today the fashion
industry says clothes look better on hangers and want women
(models) like hangars,” said Lynn Grefe, president of the
Seattle-based National Eating Disorders Association. “Even
if people don’t develop eating disorders, the self-esteem issues
are rampant,” said Grefe, who appears in Roberts’ film.

According to a 1996 study, an estimated 80 percent of
young adult U.S. women were dissatisfied with their appearance,
and particularly their weight. But an estimated 10 million women
and girls, and a million boys and men, have slipped beyond
dissatisfaction into life-threatening battles with anorexia and
bulimia, according to studies. “I meet the parents and see
the tears from people who’ve lost a loved one from something
that could be stopped,” says Grefe.

Efforts to prevent eating disorders have been underway
for years but until recently, none has proven to significantly
reduce the risk, according to Eric Stice, a leading researcher
in the field who works at the Oregon Research Institute in Eugene.

Peer Group Intervention

The best results to date have come from an intervention
called the Body Project, funded by the National Institute of
Mental Health, in which Stice has played a principle role.
Earlier prevention efforts have involved telling young women
about unrealistic body images and the dangers of eating
disorders but the messages have not stuck.

In contrast, the Body Project’s approach has been to
show small groups of high school and college students pictures
from magazines and then to ask them to talk about how these
images affect adolescent girls. “We’ve proven that if the
information comes out of their mouths, they listen to themselves,”
says Stice. This approach has been replicated successfully
a dozen times, including among sorority sisters at Trinity University.

This small-group technique, however, can hardly counter
the relentless mass media promotion of thinness.

Grefe thinks it’s time to try other routes, such as applying
workplace safety laws to fashion companies that require models
to be too thin for their health. She’d prefer a voluntary approach,
but said she was deeply disappointed by the failure of the
Council of Fashion Designers of America to suggest a minimum
body-mass index requirement after the deaths of two
models in 2006 from anorexia. The council’s spokesperson
said there would be no response to Grefe’s comment.

While acknowledging that he is “just one guy trying to
make a difference,” Roberts, meanwhile, has been using his
movie as the focus of a crusade against a proposed new
MTV show called “Model Makers.” MTV issued a call for
women who want to be models willing “to endure 12 weeks of
intensive physical fitness training to get them down to their ideal size.”

His efforts have apparently succeeded. MTV now says it
has no plans to air the show.

Frances Cerra Whittelsey is an author and f
reelance writer whose current work and blog, The Equalizer,
focus on women’s health, the environment and alternative
energy. She also teaches media ethics at Hofstra University in
Hempstead, N.Y.

Posted in Change, Women Midlife, Baby Boomers, How to Change Your Life, Midlife Women in the Age of Miracles | No Comments »

Dr. Christiane Northrup on Midlife and Menopause

Monday, October 27th, 2008

When you look in the mirror, do you see an old, unattractive person who wonders why anyone would give them a second glance—or an incredibly sexy and desirable human being ready to be embraced by the world? Today’s leading women’s health and wellness expert Dr. Christiane Northrup has someone she wants you to meet—the NEW YOU! Start your engines and discover that at midlife and menopause, life has just begun— in her new wildly captivating and simply inspiring new book The Secret Pleasures of Menopause. So, when was the last time you indulged in something FUN just for you? Read on . . .

We humans were born to experience unlimited pleasure and joy. It’s our birthright. Pursuing pleasure and also allowing ourselves to receive it on a regular basis are absolutely essential to creating and maintaining vibrant physical and emotional health. That’s right—the pursuit of good feelings is not an indulgence. It’s a life-affirming necessity! Pleasure in all its many forms literally stokes our life force (our chi or prana ) in the way we’d stoke a fire by throwing another log onto it.

Think about the last time you really steeped yourself in something pleasurable—when you took that positive feeling right into your bone marrow. Maybe it was savoring a bite of gourmet chocolate, the smell of salt air at the beach, or an exquisite back rub. Everyone has a distinct pleasure profile, and you can count on your senses to let you know when you’ve dialed into yours. Remember the intensity of your pleasure. (If you can’t remember what it feels like to lose yourself in bliss, hang around a two-year-old for five minutes.) When you’re lost in the joy of pleasure, you are, in that very moment, renewing your cells, increasing your blood circulation, and creating health on all levels—body, mind, and spirit. In fact, you’re probably getting a healthful boost right now just imagining that wonderful experience all over again!

Another way to understand how potent pleasure is as a health enhancer is to imagine what happens when you aren’t feeling any of it. Think about a time when you were totally burned out. You probably felt like you were running on empty, right? Guess what? You were! It wasn’t just energy you were lacking; it was vital life force. Compare them in this way: Energy is what it takes to get through the day. Vital life force is what it takes to put spring in your step as you get through the day. See the difference?

Because pleasure fuels your life force, you’re naturally drawn to it by Divine design. Your body is actually programmed for joy! But before I go any further, let me explain what pleasure is not. Pleasure isn’t getting drunk or high and doing things that will embarrass you the next day; and it doesn’t mean renouncing your family and job to go live in a spa or escape to a desert island. Even though cutting loose once in a while can provide you with a temporary high that relieves tension, getting high, drunk, or going on a sugar binge won’t provide you with sustained pleasure—or vibrant health. Most likely, you’ll end up feeling worse. Avoiding responsibility and being physically, emotionally, or even financially reckless actually undermines your ability to maintain positive feelings.

When I recommend the pursuit of pleasure, I’m talking about learning how to recognize and value the things that bring you lasting joy, and then bringing them into your life deliberately on a regular basis. Think of it this way: Your body itself was conceived in orgasm—the most exquisite pleasure humans are capable of experiencing. From that perspective, how could pleasure not play a vital role in the optimal functioning of your body?

If you haven’t read anything yet by Dr. Christiane Northrup, get ready to be amazed! This visionary pioneer and beloved authority in women’s health and wellness knows what she’s talking about—and she’ll shake up your traditional beliefs and aim you toward the most vibrant health you’ve ever experienced. She’s the author of the New York Times Bestsellers Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom (the book Oprah says she keeps handy on her nightstand!) and The Wisdom of Menopause. Following a 25-year career in both academic medicine and private practice, Dr. Northrup now devotes her time to helping women (and the men who love them) flourish on all levels through tapping into their inner wisdom.

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Midlife Mentors — Are you over 65?

Friday, October 17th, 2008

I’ve been told that midlife extends from 40 - 65 and so I got this idea to write a book where I interview people over 65 for their advice on midlife. You know how when you get an idea, it mushrooms. Well, I just came back from lunch where I was being wooed by a national radio station to do a show — and — well, now we’re looking for sponsors and we’ll be off starting January.

I know what happens when I get an idea. It’s so exciting to watch this all unfold.

Would love to hear from those of you over 65 who want to be included in the interviews as well.
Dr. Toni
Midlife Mentor
http:/www.reinventmidlife.com

Posted in Women Midlife, Baby Boomers, How to Change Your Life, Midlife Women in the Age of Miracles | No Comments »

Anger - the Hidden ‘Gotcha’ of Midlife

Wednesday, October 15th, 2008

by hlesbrown
For the uninitiated, the midlife crisis seems inexplicable. Why would someone who should be really happy behave so erratically? There’s the key, though: they should be really happy . . . but they’re not! Even those closest to the midlife sufferer are apt to be shocked and confused because there’s no discernible reason they can find to explain their friend or loved one’s erratic behavior. In addition, when they sit down to talk with the poor unfortunate, they don’t ever seem to get a straight answer. What they may not realize is that even the person him- or herself isn’t able to sort out what’s going on.

One of the core features of the midlife crisis consists of the inability to connect feelings with facts. And, the feelings that accompany the midlife transition can be very intense (as well as very negative). Getting up first thing in the morning and, before you know it, feeling like doo-doo inside only aggravates the situation. Sadly, the negative, free-floating emotions soon generate a low-grade, equally free-floating anger. Generally, when you experience such unattached emotions, your reaction tends to send you into self-doubt; self-doubt sends you into denial; denial spawns displaced anger (a bad day at work translates into anger at your spouse).

The midlife transition strikes at the core of your self-esteem. It casts all of your basic assumptions into question. It undermines whatever platform of stability that you’ve constructed for yourself. It dissociates your choices and decisions from expected rewards or punishments, pleasure or pain. You suddenly discover that, on one hand, no good deed goes unpunished, and, on the other hand, breaking the rules often has no consequences or even brings about some good results. At the same time, you come to the realization that all your planning and hard work has brought you to this point in your life, but, either you’re not quite sure where ‘this point’ really is in the big scheme of things, or where you are isn’t what you thought it’d be. Either way, you’re confused, disappointed and, above all, angry.

Nobody has ever told you that arriving at this juncture was a normal part of your evolution as a mature person. It feels as though the situation is out of control, you’ve no one to blame but yourself, and you have no idea how you got into this mess, let alone how to get out of it. Sure, you can find any number of people to blame (and you will), but all of your complaining and finger-pointing sounds strangely hollow and unconvincing. Deep down, you’re starting to feel that you know who’s responsible for this mess you’re in and you’re it! That’s not something our psyche (particularly as males) wants to deal with. So we’re left with free-floating anxiety generating free-floating anger that’s tending to explode randomly in all directions but achieving nothing (except making you feel even worse). On top of this all, you feel like you’re the only person in the world having to deal with this. It’s like puberty all over again, only worse, because you haven’t any explosive hormones to blame it on and nobody to offer excuses for you.

Depression, they say, is anger turned inward. No wonder you’re feeling depressed! At the same time, unrelieved anger is an emotion-blocker. As long as you’re stuck in the mire of free-floating anger, other emotions like true joy or sorrow simply can’t express themselves. Anger turns you into an emotional Johnny One-Note. You find yourself stuck like a prehistoric animal in the La Brea Tar Pits. That’s what a midlife crisis feels like. Yet, escape is surprisingly easy: once you’re aware of what’s really going on, and once you’ve come to accept that this experience is not only normal but a positive sign of growth, you can let the anger go. And, once the anger’s gone, you’re free: the crisis is over. Does it sound easy? In theory it is; in practice it takes some real work for you to get to true Midlife Mastery.

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Abraham on the Economic crisis

Wednesday, October 15th, 2008

I highly recommend you’re going to www.abraham-hicks.com and watching the video of Abraham’s take on the current “economic crisis”. As soon as I figure out how to upload videos here, I’ll post it here.
Meanwhile. Do watch it and comment here, please.

Posted in Law of Attraction, "The Secret", Change, Abraham-Hicks, Baby Boomers | No Comments »

More Mis-messages about Midlife

Friday, October 10th, 2008

How many times have you heard yourself or your friends say, “I’m losing it”. EEKS… What are we doing to ourselves? Our words create our reality and if you are referring to forgetting things as you get older, I’d like to encourage you to reframe the experience. Isn’t it great that we forget a lot of our past - and even sometimes that we forget what we are saying at the moment? What do I mean?

Well, I don’t know about you, but, the memories I want to replay in my head are the ones where I was victorious, where I felt unconditional love and where I was at my peak. I remember these without hesitation. The other stuff — I may as well forget. Most of us dwell too much in our past anyway. We think it’s who we are when in fact, it’s no longer our truth. So, forgetting the past can be a very good thing.

What about forgetting mid-sentence what you were about to say? I find these moments sobering and they give me a chance to get centered and to ask myself, is this what I want to be thinking and saying right now? In other words, it keeps me more conscious - and that’s a good thing.

What about you? How do you feel about forgetting? Let’s hear from you here now.

Posted in Change, Women Midlife, Wisdom, Baby Boomers, How to Change Your Life, Midlife Women in the Age of Miracles | 3 Comments »

Midlife Women in the Age of Miracles: Redefining Over the Hill

Tuesday, October 7th, 2008

How do you like hearing the words, Over the Hill? What is that supposed to mean? It has a ring that seems to say that life is on the decline. Yes, we hear that often. There are lots of jokes about how we decline with age rather than that we are finally reaching our potential and living the lives we have longed to live. Most of the people I know who have reached midlife might be considered over the hill if we think of the hill as the chase and the climb that we feel must take place when we are younger. Midlife becomes a time to stop the struggle and the need to get on top of it all.

Wayne Dyer has a new movie coming out - called Ambition to Meaning. This is what can happen to us when we reach midlife. We let go of the drive, the ambition to become something. We stop trying to amass things to make us feel important. We let go of the struggle, the striving and the belief that we are not enough. That’s the hill I wanted to get over and DID!

I truly believe that life is meant to be lived by inspiration rather than motivation. We are motivated to do more, be more, have more when we are younger. We work hard; We set goals; We continually look to the day when we’ll be “there”. Then, we discover that the ‘there’ isn’t what life is about - it’s the process. We learn to live in the present moment. No, not giving up dreams. But, knowing that who we have become in the process is so much more important than what we think we have to prove.

More to follow…lots more…. but, for now. I’d like to hear your comments….

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Changing Midlife Messages for Women in the Age of Miracles

Monday, October 6th, 2008

This past weekend I attended the Hay House event, I CAN DO IT in Tampa, FL.  Marianne Williamson’s talk on Midlife, comparing our personal growth and change to what is happening in our world was awesome.  She gave us all hope and reminded us that we all went through criseses in our younger years and we are here to tell about it.  The doom and gloom in our ‘economy’ and threats of terror are the world’s indication that it is going through puberty!!  Interesting concept — and very stirring message.  If you get a chance to listen to it, I highly recommend it.  Check out Hay House offerings.  If you haven’t read Marianne’s latest book, The Age of Miracles, I also highly recommend that.  My new book is a bit different from Marianne’s — because our experiences have been different — but the basic message is similar — change is not only possible, it is inevitable. And as Barbara Marx Hubbard always says, “our crisis is our birth.”  It’s time to be re-born.

Posted in Change, Women Midlife, Reinvention, Baby Boomers, How to Change Your Life, Midlife Women in the Age of Miracles | No Comments »

A Midlife Conversation

Thursday, October 2nd, 2008

I had an interesting conversation last night with some of my friends who have a few years on me. They were excited about what I am doing. We have never really had any mentors to show us the positive aspects of aging, they both agreed. All we ever heard was - hide the wrinkles, watch the crows feet, and by all means don’t go grey.

What are these messages trying to tell us? It’s not okay to get old? I used to think that the world was prejudiced towards men and now I am seeing a distinct prejudice toward youth. Maybe it’s always been there and I never noticed it before - having been among the youth - but I really feel such a strong call now to change these messages. It’s truly time to reinvent midlife.

If you are not yet receiving my newsletter, sign up on this page — or go to http://www.reinventmidlife.com
If you are interested in having a provocative speaker at your next event or radio show - go to http://www.tonilamotta.com
I’ll be waiting.
Dr. Toni

Posted in Law of Attraction, Abraham-Hicks, Women Midlife, Baby Boomers, Midlife Women in the Age of Miracles | No Comments »